Dream from Felix Rungy…
Last night’s dream saw my ex girlfriend and me talking. We were discussing what she disliked about me and her current boyfriend. Nothing that she liked, in case that’s relevant. I can’t recall any specifics, but she did say something about me that seemed to tip the scales in his favor. After that, I somehow convince her to go on a bike ride with me. She’s riding behind me on a single-person bicycle. We approach this area that I know in my dream world to be haunted. So I say “Hey! Let’s go to ‘the scary place’.” She’s hesitant, but we get closer to it. On the edge of “the scary place” there’s a big, black stone. It’s not man-made, but it has been arranged in a fashion that leads me to believe that people put it there for a reason. This stone, in other dreams, has the power to emit these visible, yet translucent, ripples that have this debilitating affect on my mind and vision. Beyond that, there are a series of buildings in a densely-wooded area. They date back to Native American days and there’s an Indian burial ground nearby with polymorphous roaming phantoms, “little people” (another Native American legend), and floating zombies who seem to have no will of their own, other than to scare the people who can actually see them. We didn’t get that far in my dream, but this place has a lot of significance in my dreams, and is definitely one of the bleakest spots on the map of my dream world. I feel like the fact that she and I traveled there together is significant. And I also feel like the fact that we didn’t go all the way to the “belly of the beast”, so to speak, is also meaningful.
The haunted Indian area is most likely a mirror image of this place I know of in real life that is haunted. In fact, every time I’ve ever been to this place in real life, my belief in the supernatural has been increased exponentially. And not because I want it to either. This place is legitimately messed up. My ex is the “one who got away”. She got pregnant while we were together and wound up getting an abortion. While I realize that it was a necessary evil, I’ve had a really hard time forgiving myself for putting her through all of that. If I were to make an assumption as to what this dream was about, I’d guess that it’d be facing the fears I have about confronting the unfinished business I feel like she and I have. She’s moved on with her life. And I feel like exhuming the corpses of the past would be just the kind of burden I’d like to avoid inflicting on her, especially after all we’ve been through together. My subconscious seems to be telling me that it’s necessary, in a number of different ways: other dreams, transference, taking a very Byronic role in a lot of my relationships, etc.
I used the word “Byronic” to describe myself. That does a pretty good job. The Byronic hero is something of a conflicted anti-hero type. I recently stopped being quite as chemically self-destructive. Really focusing on finishing school and making up for the last few years of mistakes. I’m really trying to put the past behind me right now. However, it seems like parts of it don’t want to let me do that. Born 11th Feb., 1984.